{"id":964812,"date":"2024-11-05T09:40:04","date_gmt":"2024-11-05T14:40:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wfsu.org\/education\/?p=964812"},"modified":"2025-03-26T12:09:18","modified_gmt":"2025-03-26T16:09:18","slug":"managing-disappointment-when-the-vote-doesnt-go-our-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wfsu.org\/education\/managing-disappointment-when-the-vote-doesnt-go-our-way\/","title":{"rendered":"Managing Disappointment: When the Vote Doesn\u2019t Go Our Way"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cWould you like cereal or eggs for breakfast?\u201d I asked my kids one weekend morning. While one wanted eggs, my daughter shouted, \u201chow about cookies!\u201d\u00a0 Rather than engaging in a power struggle with a 5-year-old, our family held a vote on healthy breakfast foods.<\/p>\n

Like the characters from PBS KIDS\u2019 \u201cDaniel Tiger\u2019s Neighborhood,\u201d each family member decided to\u00a0stop, think, and choose<\/a>\u00a0from a\u00a0limited<\/a>\u00a0menu of two healthy options. Practicing our counting skills together, we tallied the results and announced the winning food.<\/p>\n

Faced with the reality that the vote did not go her way, my preschooler was less than thrilled eating eggs for breakfast.<\/p>\n

Family votes<\/a>\u00a0are a way to develop\u00a0civic decision-making skills<\/a>\u00a0for young children. Yet, as preschoolers are still learning to navigate their feelings, the voting process can also prompt big emotions ranging from disappointment to frustration. As was the case with my daughter, losing can be hard to process for young children.<\/p>\n

Thankfully, with the guidance of a caring, trusted adult, children can practice empathy, understanding, and perspective when they lose.<\/p>\n

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Three Ways to Stay Calm When Your Child Isn’t\"Parent<\/h5>\n

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Here are five considerations when helping your little one navigate the experience of losing:<\/p>\n

1. Respect the Results.<\/b>\u00a0Immediately after a vote, help your child practice civility as they respect the results of the poll.\u00a0 Explain the voting process once again to reinforce the concept of a group decision.<\/p>\n

2. Practice Empathy.<\/b>\u00a0As PBS KIDS for Parents explains, kids are\u00a0naturally compassionate<\/a>. By the age of five, children can understand that their peers have different feelings and beliefs than their own. Point out the range of emotions others might feel after a vote, from disappointment and frustration to excitement and hope. Helping children find the right vocabulary to use can build stronger peer relationships. Model kindness and provide the meaning for the terms \u201ccongratulations\u201d or \u201cI understand your disappointment.\u201d<\/p>\n

You might consider using \u201cDaniel Tiger\u2019s Neighborhood\u201d to spark a conversation about empathy. In the episode \u201cThe Neighborhood Votes,\u201d Daniel and his friends are voting for new playground equipment, and he feels disappointed when the vote does not go his way.<\/p>\n

\"Daniel

It’s natural to feel disappointed and maybe angry when we lose a vote. Even Daniel Tiger gets upset when he loses! | PBS KIDS<\/p><\/div>\n

3. Be a role model.<\/b>\u00a0Children observe how adults react in challenging situations and often model our behavior. Allow yourself time to process the emotions that come along with difficult situations like losing. As seen in the\u00a0PBS Parenting Minutes: \u201cExpressing Emotions<\/a>,\u201d use this as a teaching moment to start a conversation on feelings. When we respond with politeness and respect, we help children model these appropriate reactions.<\/p>\n

4. Find the silver lining.<\/b>\u00a0While the vote did not go as they wished, we can guide children to new perspectives on the outcome. Are there aspects of the results that might be appealing? Use \u201cDaniel Tiger\u2019s Neighborhood\u201d as an example. While in one episode Daniel voted for a new slide, he realizes the swings are still fun, and he begins to feel less disappointed. Point out any silver lining and stay positive.<\/p>\n

5. Look to the future.<\/b>\u00a0Are there other available options or ways to compromise in the future? Perhaps you eat the runner-up dessert another night. Help your child realize that there will be other voting opportunities in the future.<\/p>\n

The following weekend my family held another vote for family game night. This time, our preschooler\u2019s selected choice did win the majority vote, and she was able to practice the civility, respect and empathy we modeled. Giving our children opportunities to practice these skills will help them grow into active and engaged community members.<\/p>\n

More Elections Resources for Parents<\/h2>\n

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